Mid-Term Election Heads, Tails & Humour
A few weeks ago, Maxine Waters called Nancy Pelosi and said, “Nancy, lets me axe you a question? Do you knows a way we can fohshua win the mid-term election? We already gots the immigrants and lots of dead people’s votes, but dat may not be enough. Gots any ideas?”
Nancy Pelosi said, “Sure, I’ll think on it.” Nancy came up with an idea and called Chuck Schumer and said, “I talked with Maxine and I have a plan to help us win the mid-terms in 2018 and help us regain control of Congress.”
“Great Nancy, but how?” asked Chuck..
“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle-Class Americans wear, then stop off at the shelter and pick up a Labrador retriever, and we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there. I’ll call Maxine and confirm that she agrees.”
Nancy called Maxine Waters and told her about the idea. “Dats a great idea,” she said.
So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters?”
“Yes we are!” said Nancy, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Chuck suggested we stop and take in some local colour.” They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.
Finally, Nancy asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of a local custom?”
“Lord no,” said the bartender. “Someone’s out there running around town, telling people there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with three assholes!”