Beware: Today’s Knews
Our #1 Knews Today: Negotiations with Iran continued this week in Switzerland apparently with some hope of agreement when the meetings resume. Since the United States is trying to kiss-up to… I mean make some peace with both Iran and Russia, one suggestion is to just give Iran many of our nuclear weapons and a missile delivery system which might discourage them from continuing to develop their own technology and facilities, and placate Russia by diminishing our own nuclear arsenal. If we can just appease Iran long enough, maybe their technology and capability will die off along with their engineers and scientists and they won’t pose a problem in the future.
And #2: Regarding the increasing influx of Mexicans and Central Americans across our border, a proposal to fund and build, what is being called the Radiation Obstruction Technique (ROT), may be considered. Transmitting towers would be installed which would emit a classified radiation component which would… in short, turn a person’s skin bright red with some irritation and prompt them to seek medical help, and of course, make them easy to identify and be apprehended by immigration officials.
A 3rd proposal, similar to that unveiled by Maine’s Governor this week is to reform the Welfare and Food Stamp Program to eliminate fraud and ensure that those recipients who are able to work do so, either by working on government assigned tasks or training to acquire work related skills to survive without government assistance in the future. If approved, the program will commence June 31st.
Yet a 4th proposal fostered by several universities and think tanks is to begin to study and nurture the evolution of the human body for eventual assimilation and survival on sea water as the World’s supply of fresh water is rapidly diminishing. If Mankind can survive on salt water, it will save trillions of dollars in desalination and distribution.
A 5th proposal is consideration of a new “Health Care Tax,” being called “LOST” (Lose Overweight & Save Tax), would be based on a person’s BMI. All Obama Care insured, and eventually all will be required to be examined and cary a “BMI Card,” which will be presented every time food or drink is purchased in a store or restaurant, and a tax as a percentage will be imposed on food purchases. For example, a 5’9” man weighing 200 pounds would have a BMI of 29.5 and have no surcharge, but a man 5’9” weighing 220 pounds would have a BMI of 32.5 and be 2.5 points over the line for obesity and be assessed a 2.5% additional tax on all food purchases. This will be a great incentive for overweight persons (BMI 25 to 29.9) and obese persons (BMI of 30 or more) to eat less, exercise more, lose weight and be healthier.
A 6th and more drastic and certainly more controversial plan is to begin sterilizing all rapists immediately upon conviction and all men after fathering 3 or more children and women after giving birth to three of more children. The USA population is increasing at the rate of 30 million every 10 years and the World population by one billion every 10 years and this is not sustainable long-term. There is also consideration of requiring a permit before having a child and imposing a tax thereupon. The problem is, what to do with violators.
A 7th idea may seem strange but is logical… sort of logical. Swiss Cheese has air bubbles (holes) in it and therefore is less dense that other cheeses, so a pound of Swiss cheese takes up more space and requires a larger wrapper than does other cheeses. Therefore, cheese makers are suggesting that Swiss Cheese be sold by the cubic inch or cubic centimeter instead of by the pound or kilo. This makes it competitive with other more solid cheeses.
Proposition 8 is a really “foreign” idea. Many people who eat at Chinese restaurants use the numbers in Fortune Cookies to play the lottery. China now wants to collect a fee or royalty whenever a number on a fortune cookie turns out to be the winning lottery number. They think 10% seems like a fair amount.
Oh, and then there is lucky number 9. President Obama is looking for a retirement home and so far has considered Chicago, New York City, Asheville, NC, California and Hawaii. But it turns out that he can inherit a large tract of land, mansion and the servant/slaves to manage the estate if he goes back to Kenya. The only kicker in the deal is; he has to claim it as his birth rite, and that may be a little disconcerting to some people.
And finally, lets end with a perfect 10. Isn’t it terrific to have such an inciteful leader with such a transparent Agenda? President Obama has kept one of his promises. He promised to “change” America and he has certainly done that. He knows that these changes will endure for decades to come. He is a happy man.
Now that “Today’s Knews” is back in business, keep following us on Jeffress.Com, Facebook and Twitter… and HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY to all, and don’t forget to Beware of Today’s Knews.
